I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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Q: What did the Big Bad Wolf say to Little Red Riding Hood? A: Nothing, wolfs are mentally nor physically capable of talking

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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WEED!

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What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter ponder with cheese.

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

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What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

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Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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