What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock. Go Away!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An English man walks into a pub.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a rat and an italian? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Look how far I can kick this bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock get lost!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a man gets raped. -teagan doherty-

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops