- Anti Joke

What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

what's the last thing you want to hear during surgery? your wife complaining

Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

There is no I in Pie except for the I

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

Three black men get out of a taxy. They split the bill evenly and get on with their day... By Wade

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

What's the difference between and elephant and a banana? An elephant is grey.

A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh