What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

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Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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Roses are red,violets are blue, im epileptic sdblkselhvefbed

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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why am i sore i bummed a giraffe

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven stabbed his mother.

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A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

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a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

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The BCS

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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