When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

WHY DO JEWS HATE GERMANY? THEY DON'T THEY FORGAVE THE NAZIS :-) ( . )( . ) -------

What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

one day i went to bed

Why don't elephants eat bananas? Because they don't have opposable thumbs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One splatters and makes a big red mark on the ground when dropped from a building. The other is a fruit.

What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

What is brown and sticky? A stick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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