What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Have you seen the painting by Stevie Wonder? It's a Monet and this museum's most prized piece. Just kindly ask Mr. Wonder to step aside a bit.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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Fred used to only visit his parents in the hospitals on weekends, because that was his only free time. Now his parents are dead and he has more free time.

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Knock knock. Who’s there? Your son. Your son who? DAD WHY CAN’T YOU ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I AM GAY!

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus !

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Chinese drivers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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