A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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toast points

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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A man walks into a bar. The bar is closed and the man is a thief. The police are promptly called in fear that the situation may become increasingly dangerous.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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