How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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how do you beat up 3 year old with ease? you beat her up, 3 years can't fight for shit.

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

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People made fun of a plant for walking into a bar. Little did they know it hadn't been watered for days.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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why is georgia shit at making jokes i dont know

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mum, I've just raped her

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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How did the boy die in the holocaust? Cancer

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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