How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Why are there cookie's in the jar? 'Cause I put cookies in the jar

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Q: If Hitler spots a jew, what will he do? A: You suck at history dude, Hitler is dead! Moral: What? You did not get the daily news?

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

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Why did Steve refuse to have sex with a black guy? Because Steve is heterosexual.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

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kieran scott has a huge back

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Why can't men give birth? Because men do not not have the reproductive organs required to give life to a new born child.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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Why did the man paint his dog blue? He has some strange mental condition and is incapable of controlling his own actions.

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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