You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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I killed someone today. :D

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What is the difference between apple and android? Apple makes fruit and android candy

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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The Christian Bible.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What is dangerous when eaten? My grandmother's cooking?

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Why couldnt the kid see the pirate movie? Because he didn't have eyes.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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