What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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the WNBA

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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What happened to the boy who ditched his friends and lied to them...? His appendix exploded.

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Why did the cat throw up on the couch? because it was nauseous!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a salad bar, so he left.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Never bring a knife to a sword fight Bring A GIANT FREAKING HIPPOPOTAMUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My room is a mess, Violets are still blue

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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