After the haitian revolution, Haiti lived happily ever after, Until god smited them with a devastating natural disaster

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Give a man a fire and he will be warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There was once a family of tomatoes. A daddy tomato a mommy tomato and a baby tomato. they decided one day to take a walk. but the baby was taking forever so the daddy tomato walked back STOMPED on him and yelled "CATCHUP"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Osama Bin Laden say before was captured? nothing the U.S. military slit his throat on site

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? Oh my god, I thought you said you'd never forget.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +25

hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops