If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a room full of Jews? A gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a black man at a school. coach.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

brainfart

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's better than Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

weston cage

thumb_up thumb_down -13

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's better than being in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops