Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between a jew and a jew? They both died in the gas chamber.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "God" "Then come right in!"

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When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose... But you cannot be a dinosaur!

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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