A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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Why is your face? Because.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Q: What is your name? A: I don't know.

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. No he doesn't.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? It was intense

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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