Your mama's so old that typical places of business grant her the senior citizen discount.

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How do you kill a blond? You don't. If you do, you'll get reported to the cops and sent to jail.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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I don't know what I've been told I'm a refrigerator

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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boobs

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

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How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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