When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

thumb_up thumb_down -53

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: Why couldn't Katie ride a bike? A: Because she has leprosy.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo mama is so fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Last Christmas I gave you my heart... but the very next day your body rejected the transplant and you died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walked into a bar. The third man ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat? A: Exactly what her preference is.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -168

Why did the woman fall over? Because she had both of her arms amputated so when she lost her balance she had nothing to counter her weight going forward with an inverse motion.

thumb_up thumb_down -174

How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

385

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

thumb_up thumb_down +31

ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the moron jump through the window?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

400 asian people walked in a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops