whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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homework

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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Why was the jewish boy sad? He had no friends.

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how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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There's a car about to hit me.

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Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

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I like toast -my name is Bob and I approve of this message

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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