What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a prison. They're stopped by a gang. Hey, want to play a game? They answer "No thanks, we died in the last joke."

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Why couldn't little Jessica open the door? It was locked

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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"Knock, Knock" "who's there" "John doe" "John doe who" "I told you my my name was john doe"

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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What do you call a man with no arms? A cripple.

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Whats worse than runing over a box of kittens? Runing over two boxes of kittens.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Your existance.

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a horse nibbled a baby

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around, does anyone really care?

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I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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