Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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Why did carly drop her groceries Carly is a cow

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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9

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What is brown and sticky. Hot chocolate.

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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Knock Knock Go Away

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Let's go burn down an orphanage, what are they gonna do tell their parents?

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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