Why does an actor enjoy his work so much? Because it’s all play.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

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Okay, one second.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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vaginas

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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