How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? So that it would melt and he could dip his dick into it and his mom could lick it off.

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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A black man, an Asian man, and a Mexican man jump off a bridge. They were all suffering from chronic depression and couldn't take the pressures of life anymore.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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What did Batman get for Christmas. Nothing his parents are dead.

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why was the boy sad. his father is an alcoholic that beats him daily.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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I like dogs. Lots of dogs. Meow.

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I told you it would happen

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what do you call a black man driving a police car? a cop

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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