Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than dying alone? dying with a boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the similarity between your mom and me We are both men except for your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex afender

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Cows are land manatees.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops