A black man walks into a bar and says, "ouch."

Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

Women's rights

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

porn-hub

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

if a chcken lays an eggg what happens? a baby bird comes out

What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

So many dudes win with your mom who even knows if i'm your father!!

Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

Patriarchy.

What Do You Call Black People Skydiving? A fun time.

What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

How do you make a fireman cry??? Kill His Family

what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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