No thank you, I don't like violence

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

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Gotta go Fast Gotta go Faster Faster Fasterfasterfaster! Moving at the speed of sound I'm the quickest hedgehog around Got ourselves a situation Start getting a new location Without any explanation On top of relaxation! Go- Go- Go- Don't blink Don't think Just Go go go go G-g-g-g-go go! Sonic, he's on the run Sonic, he's number one Sonic, he's coming next so watch out for Sonic X! Gotta go fast, gotta go faster faster faster fasterfasterfaster Go go go go go go go go go! Sooooniiiiic X!!

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

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If i had a dollar for every time Lindsay Lohan Crashed a vehicle......i would be rich

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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jwe

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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Why are black people so good at basketball because they can jump shoot and steel

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Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

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try slamming a revolving door

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why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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