Shaniqua: Knock knock Random black guy: Who is there? Shaniqua: It's me your girlfriend I had a really nice meeting with my dick Random black guy:What?

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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why did the frog cry? Because he didn't get a message

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Redneck girls. Now there's a joke.

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

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What the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Phelps? Micheal Phelps can finish a race.

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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What'sucks and white Jackson

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind, deaf, and dead.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

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How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops