What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Where can you find elephants? That depends on where you leave them.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Six afraid of Seven. Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Scenario- A wedding while skydiving. Problem- The groom lost his parachute. Question- Who stole it? Hint- The Maid of Honor didn't have one either, but he had one on his body when he hit the ground. Answer- The mailman, but he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There's a god, just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

if you dont like sponge bob refrences.......... THEN **DOLPHIN NOISE*** you

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Wanna here a good joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock Who's there? the mailman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than losing a board game? Cannibalism.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I like colin but not as much as apple

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops