Mark Wilson

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

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How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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Yo mamas so stupid that she has a condition called autism

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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