Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

whats 2 + 2? a black guy flying a kite

What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

A guy trips a blind man.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

What did Einstein say to the blonde? 'What specific part of the theory don't you understand?'

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

What's brown and sticky? A stick

Some peoples attempts at being funny on this website are the stupidest things i have ever read.

Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

An Irish man walks out of a bar..... 'nuff said

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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