What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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What did the kid with cancer gt for Christmas? Nothing. He didn't make it that long

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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Q: Why does my arm itch? A: I got bit on the arm by a mosquito

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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Nickelback

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

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What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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It is so hard to write an antijoke.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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why was the boy crying. Brcause him and his two sisters got raped by a diseased polar bear. by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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