Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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How do you know when your dog is gay? When the dog starts wearing way to many Deep Vs and watches the Oxygen channel with "friends"

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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A Black Man Walks Into A Club.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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