Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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Whats the differense between a pile of dead babies and a Farrari I actually have a Farrari in my garage.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Why was Joey bad at playing the trumpet? He had no fingers.

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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