Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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What's the difference between Cindy Crawford and a Snickers bar? Nothing. One is a mediocre actress, the other is a peanut based bar of chocolate confectionary.

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

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Once upon a time, I farted They believe this now as the "Big Bang"

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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