Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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What do you get when you cross something with another thing that one would normally not cross with the aforementioned noun? A better love story than Twilight.

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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Sure, if my waifu aproves, hell, the more the hornier. CONDOMS? ARE YOU INSANE? CONDOMS ARE FOR PUSSIES... ..:WHIIIIIICH sorta makes sense so okay, my for a moment I thought you where not gonna go trough with this... Nah just kidding, I already got you, now if you want to break free I am gonna be like "MEH!" So, uh, you shaven or not? Please dont be "trimmed", sometimes it just looks like a pussy with a mustachio, thats bullshit.

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once you go black you prefer not to date any white people

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

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knock knock piss off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side (The original AntiJoke)

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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