What did the lonely old man get on valentines day? Nothing, because his wife died of cancer two years ago.

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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why was the boy crying. Brcause him and his two sisters got raped by a diseased polar bear. by rangler. thumbs up for more.

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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