What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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What worse than the holocaust? Danny's.

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops