What do you call a bunny with a knife in his chest? Emo

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

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My friend who's a chef was stabbed by his own kitchen knife, everyone said it would be in bad taste to joke about it.

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Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

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A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

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What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an 0rgy.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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What's small and red that sits in a corner? A baby with a razor blade.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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why did Jen fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock who's there not Jen

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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A Mexican walked into a bar. He never came back out.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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