Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

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how many dead babies fit in a bathtub 16

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one being irish and the other chinese. now they both happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china, where as the chinese man had not committed any crime.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house. A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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I walked into my maths lesson and my teacher told me to point out the uncommon variable. ..So i pointed at the ginger black man in the corner.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

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Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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Wanna hear a great joke? (any answer) Your dad's choice of condom.

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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