whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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RRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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knock knock get lost!

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who is mark

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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Someone stole my cookie from the cookie jar! So I bought another cookie.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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Why did annie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms! Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Annie!

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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