Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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I added ICE to WKD it was WICKED

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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What's worse than a dead baby? The corpse is chopped into little pieces And is put in a blender. Worse than that? An alive baby stuffed into a blender. Worse than that? Hellen Keller put into a blender. Worse than that? The holocaust.

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There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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What's green,has 4 legs and lives in a tree? A pool table

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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A blind man walks into a wall.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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