once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

Who killed the ears of every human being? -Rebecca Black

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

what does the nba stand for? Nothing But Africans

Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

wsedrtyujiKFKJKLEFL;LKJRG Blame the economy. Don't hit me, I'm a girl! EQUAL RIGHTS, EQUAL RIGHTS!

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

You are so ugly that plastic surgery may be an option for you to consider.

raisin boogers

What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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