Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

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Why did the black man smell really bad? A: becuase he ran out of paper

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

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A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

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Why can a bird fly Because it's not a banana

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

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You see how lame this is?

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-Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? -No -Niether have they

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

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yes... that's the joke

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a boy fell in mud... a kid took a bath with bubbles... bubbles was the girl next door!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops