Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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You know what they say about a guy with big feet? He wears large socks and has big shoes.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

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Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops