Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Black People.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gate open and chickens typically wonder with no obvious pattern to their movements.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

whats black and white and slides on its belly a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call two indian men lying next to each other? i dont think there is a name for it but im sure you call them by there names.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Train A leaves the station at 1:42 while traveling in 176kmh. How long will it take for the conductor to realize the bridge it ou... Too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops