Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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How do you get a Jewish man out of a pool? Ask him politely, for I'm sure he's a pleasant and reasonable fellow.

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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Bean.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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