A lobster walks up to an octopus. What does he say? Nothing. Lobsters cannot talk.

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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Bean.

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Knock Knock -Who's there I eat mipe -I eat mipewho hahahah -Oh I'm gonna beat your ass

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What does Kim Kardashian and a Navy Vessel have in common? They are both full of seamen!

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Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

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How do stop a clown from laughing? Hit in the face with a hatchet.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

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There were two busses. The one was red, the other one went to France.

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What happened when the Texan saw snow for the first time? He said "Oh my goodness this is cool"

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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96

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Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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Kyle is consistently sexually harassed by a woman while at work. Everything is fine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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