whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

thumb_up thumb_down +53

a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

thumb_up thumb_down +47

whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down +45

No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

thumb_up thumb_down +37

There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you fix America's national security issues? Nuke russia

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops