How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Q: If Elvis was alive today, what would he crave the most? A: Brains. Moral: BRAAAAAAAAAAAINS!

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

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The Detroit Lions

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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how do you make a orange juice. get orange juice and pour it in a cup.

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kieran scott peels his off his foreskin while he watches hentai porn then he eats it afterwards, he is also on roids

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Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

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What is faster than a black man with a stereo? A car

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knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops