Why did the chicken cross the road? He looked both ways and saw there was no traffic.

Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

Why cant steve get a job? Because Steve Jobs is DEAD! Moral: And people are all like "you gotta respect the dead", uh... Why not respect people while they are alive? Humanity is so fucking "smart" sometimes ya? Not that your answer matters...

Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

there once was a time before bonerss it sucked it sucked real bad like that kid who never washes his gym closes bad Mason Manning JLR

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

U know what they say about big shoes? Big socks

Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

Two strippers are out of work. So they turn to prostitution.

What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

Knock knock, Who's there The delivery man The delivery man who Just take this package

if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

wanna hear a joke? no.

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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