'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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