A man with ADD walks into a bar, what did he say? Look a squirrel!!!

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

So what makes you that much adaptable? I get the feeling I should get this by now.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

titanic vs 9/11 who would win? Well the titanic backwards is a ship which saves lives and 9/11 backwards is a building on fire spitting out airplanes

Knock knock, Come in...

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

Your mom.

your mum

Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

Q: How does a robber get into your house? A: Through a door.

i want justin beiber to release more albums so that i can not buy them

Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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