Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the blonde say when she tripped down the stairs? Nothing she was unconscious and had a serious concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than 20 black men stealing your TV? Having your family die in tragic car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

where did sally go after the bombing? everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a gay African American Jewish German flight attendant who is addicted to many hard drugs? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is the difference between a black man and a sofa? A black man is a human being with feelings, while a sofa is an inanimate object that people sit on in order to enjoy comfort and possibly watch television.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man with no education? An unfortunate outcome of our meritocratic society.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

bryden is a faggot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

squirrels with massive bonerss

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops