Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Okay, one second.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A midget walks under a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Justin's humor

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how do you stop a speeding vehicle? throw a refrigerator at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A plane full of atheists, with one Christian, crashes into a field over Ohio. Everybody but the Christian dies upon impact. Amazed, a news reporter on the scene of the crash, asks the man, "How did you suvive this tragic event?" "I had a parachute." Responds the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: what did the nazi say to the other nazi A: hallo

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the chicken cross the road? To find some grain.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops