What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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What do you call a woman with a black eye and several cuts on her face? The police and perhaps a social help hotline. She now feels safer and more secure and will go on to lead a happy life thanks to you speaking out on her behalf.

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How do you know if your friend is dead? You shoot him in the face!

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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If strippers are exotic dancers then drug dealers are to exotic pharmacists.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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WHAT????

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What did the skateboarder do when he was trying to do an ollie kickflip 360 and tailslide on a rail and dismount heelflip to manual? He fell

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Why does a black man have a bicycle? He bought it with his own money.

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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