Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has Stevie

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4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

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Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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